My Conversion to the Gospel of Jesus Christ

Both my parents were baptized and became members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in their adult years.  They were married and sealed in the Manti Utah temple.  My younger brother and sister and I were all baptized at age 8.  Despite this, our family didn’t attend church very regularly, nor did we spend time together in Gospel instruction that I remember with family scripture study, prayer, home evening, etc.  I attended girl’s camp and seminary, even EFY, and also stake dances, though I didn’t participate very much in the spiritual side of things.  As a result I was spiritually wayward, and felt like I was always grasping at straws trying to find real happiness.  I had blue coloring in my hair at the ends and a strip through my bangs at one time and hot pink highlights at another; I stayed out way too late and never had a curfew; didn't have the greatest influences as friends; I didn’t always dress modestly; I played in soccer tournament games on Sundays; I stayed up till morning and slept till the afternoon.  Searching for peace in all the wrong places, I didn’t know there was a better way of living.

The summer before my junior year of high school my 16th birthday fell on a Sunday.  For some unknown reason I decided I would spend my birthday going to church.  I have a few memories of Primary and Achievement Days, and one thing I do remember is getting a pencil for my birthday in Primary.  This small thought played a part in my going to church that day.  I didn’t know which class I was in or where they met, I hadn’t previously talked much to the other youth in my ward.  I don’t remember who I sat with or how I got there.  But I went and I was happy to be there!  I decided in the middle of Young Women’s that from that day forward I wouldn’t stop coming to church.

The same summer in the next month was girl’s camp, and my first year as a YCL (youth camp leader).  I almost didn’t go because I didn’t really feel like I knew anyone I would be there with.  But I ended up going and I’m really glad I did.  The Spirit pierced my heart that week.  During the Thursday night devotional and testimony meeting with my ward, I stood up to bear my testimony, something I never had previously done.  “I don’t know what I know; I just know that I know,” was the only way I could describe the feelings I had.  It gave me hope and a sense of purpose.  Girl’s camp and the events leading up to it sealed the deal for me, and I’ve never looked back!

It was tough though, to start over.  I was halfway through high school, established like everyone else, I had finally made friends I felt accepted with, and here I was, abandoning everything I previously “knew” for some glimmer of hope of the unknown future.  I tried to run with a different crowd where people were on the same page spiritually as me, though I never really completely felt like I belonged through the rest of high school.  It wasn’t an easy transition, but I was solid in my determination to stay true to what I knew.  Seminary was my rock through the rest of high school and a daily source of spiritual strength and rejuvenation.

Since then it’s gotten much easier and has become a joy to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ!  I’ve had a great time learning and growing through college, married life, and motherhood.  The Gospel is everything to me, and though part of me wishes I would have had a more spiritual childhood, I’m grateful for the experiences in my life because they have helped make me strong in my faith of Jesus Christ and brought me to where I am today.

My life is not free of challenges, nor is it free of mistakes.  I constantly have to be on guard and make sure I try my hardest to choose the higher ground and the better part.  I'm continually gaining testimony of the Gospel as I show my commitment to Him by living the eternal principles taught by prophets of old in the scriptures and modern prophets in our day.  My conversion is a process as I am converted to choosing daily to follow Christ.

We all face trials, and we all experience heartache.  I know what it’s like to be lost, and I also know what it’s like to be found.  Nothing else in this life can bring greater and truer and more lasting happiness and peace than following Jesus Christ and living His Gospel.  I am eternally grateful and feel hugely blessed to have the Gospel in my life!

Elder Bednar -- Converted unto the Lord

P.S. -- I feel like I need to mention that there have been countless good people throughout every part of my life so far who have had positive influences on me no matter how long or short our association has been.  It would be impossible for me to list the people or the instances but know that if you have come across my path, you have put a drop or two or many in my testimony & conversion lamp.  Even still today!  Keep being good people in the lives of others, I know you are blessing many with your goodness by simply being you!  THANK YOU from me and everyone else's life you have touched!

Primary Music Leader

 I was just called to be the new Primary Music Leader.  (Primary is the children's Sunday School, ages 3-11)  I've had a crazy mix of emotions about this new adventure, but after having a week to process it and let go of my previous calling as a youth Sunday School teacher I'm feeling excited!  Children are so forgiving, way more than adults (but not that adults aren't).  The last music leader moved out of the ward, but thankfully stuck around to finish out the Primary Program.  I'm glad I get to start with a clean slate!

I rarely attended Primary growing up, but our first calling after Adam and I got married was to teach a Primary class.  We did that for a year, and I had an awesome music leader model!  She was called into that calling right after we moved in, and she did a GREAT job, so I can too, right?  Even with my lack of Primary attendance I still know a bunch of the Primary songs, but I'll definitely be learning more!

I'm taking solace in the fact that I have an extra week to prepare because General Conference is this next weekend, and I also got to sit in during Primary last Sunday and observed.  We have an awesome Primary Presidency, I'm looking forward to learning from them!  And out stake is having their annual auxiliary training this month.  I couldn't have been called to this new position at a better time!

I'm looking forward to all the fun things I'm going to get to do with the children in our ward.  I hope I can learn all their names quickly!  We've only been in the ward for a year and we're still trying to learn who everyone is.  But I hope they will be able to learn through the music about how Heavenly Father loves them, that Jesus Christ is their Savior, that we need to be good so we can be worthy to have the Holy Ghost with us, and that we can be happy by living the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I hope I will be able to inspire them and invite the Spirit so they can feel the love our Father in Heaven has for them and learn by the Spirit, so they can feel real happiness!

I'm humbled by this call to serve, and I'm grateful for this opportunity.  I know I will grow right along with these amazing children.

Adam pointed out how fun it will be for Eli when he gets to Primary for his mom to be the music leader.  That's only in about 2 years, so it's possible!  In my married life I have yet to have a calling for over a year.  But we're not going anywhere for a while so maybe this will be the one to set the new record!


P.S. (10:45pm)

I got set apart tonight.  Bishop Alexander talked to us for a few minutes before.  It's his opinion that the music in Primary is one of the most important things.  He started to get choked up when he told me they (the bishopric) are grateful that I am in the ward (we just moved in last year).  And he said they felt strongly that I should be the one to take this place.  I don't know how deep this planning has been on Heavenly Father's part, if this is one reason why we were drawn to buy a house in this location (the past music leader just bought a house out of the ward), or maybe every good choice we've made has just led to more blessings...

The main points in Bishop's blessing tonight were:

• put family first
• be organized
• you've been blessed with talents to bless others

I definitely received some simple yet profound answers to recent prayers and some needed guidance.  I'm grateful for the priesthood and for those who serve under it's direction, and under the direction of Jesus Christ, who is the head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  He lives!

She's Leavin' on a Jet Plane

My sister Holly left home this morning for the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  She'll be serving in the Salt Lake City, Utah, Temple Square Mission!  She is such a beautiful person, inside and out, and I'm so proud of her for being worthy and willing to put her life on hold to serve the Lord with all she's got for a whole 18 months!  She's going to bless so many people's lives in such a short amount of time.  

"Wherefore, whithersoever they shall send you, go ye, and I will be with you; and in whatsoever place ye shall proclaim my name an effectual door shall be opened unto you, that they may receive my word."

- Doctrine & Covenants 112:19

 (That's the scripture she chose to go on her missionary plaque.)

We are all missionaries for the good cause of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Some are blessed with the opportunity to dedicate a small portion of their lives to full-time service, but all have the opportunity to be a missionary wherever they are.  God is good.  He is the Father of our spirits.  He loves us and wants so much for us to have true joy in our lives and to live eternally with Him and our families.  True happiness is possible!  Real hope is possible!  Salvation and exaltation are possible.  We can overcome anything.  Through Jesus Christ.  His Atonement has made these possible.  I know that's true!  He lives!

"The Atonement was made. Ever and always it offers amnesty from transgression and from death if we will but repent. Repentance is the escape clause in it all. Repentance is the key with which we can unlock the prison from inside. We hold that key within our hands, and agency is ours to use it." 

— Boyd K. Packer, "Who Is Jesus Christ?", Ensign and Liahona, March 2008

"[Jesus Christ] made salvation available to every repentant soul."

— Richard G. Scott, "The Joy of Redeeming the Dead", Liahona and Ensign, November 2012

"Wherever our members and missionaries may go, our message is one of faith and hope in the Savior Jesus Christ." 

— Boyd K. Packer, "The Atonement", Liahona and Ensign, November 2012

To Be a Humble Follower of Christ

I was reading in the scriptures this morning about how there will be many people who will have gone astray from the Lord's way because of pride and wickedness, etc, and came across this short phrase:

"...because of pride, and wickedness, and abominations, and whoredoms, they have all gone astray save it be a few, who are the humble followers of Christ..."

I was humbled by this statement.  Just last night I was thinking about how I wish I could have and could still spend more time in the musical theatre scene, and was getting a little consumed in the thought.  "I chose a different life -- that of a wife and mother."  I told myself, "My choice was the one I was supposed to make...  And I'm happy about it...  Right?"  I wasn't completely convinced last night, though I knew I was right.  But coming across this verse in my scripture study confirmed to me again that I was on the right path.

The family is central to God's great Plan of Happiness.  And it's called that because it's our road map to happiness in this life and in the next.  The world tells us to put ourselves first, and do whatever we want.  I've put Jesus Christ at the center of my life instead, and have found the greatest happiness in having and being a part of a family.  I love my family!  I love my husband and my son.  I love being a wife.  I love being a mother.  I knew there would be sacrifices I would have to make.  But I knew they would be worth it.  I may not have a ton of extra time on my hands to explore interests like participating in musical theatre, becoming a professional photographer, or website and graphic designer, learning to be a seamstress or expert crafter, or even having my house completely organized.  But my family is happy and healthy, my house is functional, and we're on the Lord's path to eternal life and exaltation.  What more could I need or even want?

Isn't it amazing how you seem to always hear what you need to when you're letting the Lord speak to you through the scriptures?

Bees!

And when I say bees, I mean LOTS of bees!

We found out Sunday morning that we had a HUGE cluster of bees living on one of our trees in our front yard.  Yes, on.  This specific tree is a young fellow, which broke and fell over after one of the stakes snapped (not sure how that happened either), but has since come back to life with many trunks.  We still have yet to get around to pruning it.......

But back to the bees!

Do you see them all clustered on top of each other?  This was only a small section of them.  This was the bottom, and it was a lot longer, maybe 3 times as long, and even wider than this in the middle.  I can't even begin to guess how many bees there were in our tree.  Thankfully none were flying around, that we could see.  But ICK!  I do not want millions of bees living in my front yard.  No thank you.

Mind you, this was a Sunday.  And the next day was Labor Day, a holiday.  So I left a message for our normal pest control people, in case they had an someone on call or something.  And then I Googled bee removal people in our area and found one that seemed like they knew what they were doing, and they had emergency removal, as in during nights and weekends.  So I gave them a call and talked to a guy, and my first question was how much do you charge for removal.  And his answer was... long.  He began to tell me what they would do to get rid of the bees and to take extra care in making sure they don't come back, and about all these different [apparently safe] chemicals and procedures to extinguish them.  After his long explanation he said it would cost about $500.  WHAT?!  Well, no.  We told him we'd call him back.  We wanted a second opinion, and one we could trust!

Well I called my dad and he told me some things, including that sometimes bees will live in a temporary cluster around the queen when they are in the process of moving from one place to another, and also that they usually will find residence in somewhere protected, like an abandoned couch or an exterior house wall, not likely in a young tree with flimsy limbs.  So we included this situation about the bees in our prayers that night, that they might just be a temporary cluster and go away on their own, or that we would know what to do to get rid of them at a reasonable cost, and how to handle it in the right time frame.  And we went to bed.

And when we got up in the morning, the bees were still there.  :(  I called a guy my parents know who does exterminating and left a message for him.  But then we left for Phoenix for a baseball game and didn't think about it.  And when we got home and pulled up to our house, we peered deep into the contents of the tree to try to see if we could see any bees in it (it's a very leafy and un-pruned tree) and to our surprise, disbelief, and GREAT JOY...  

They had gone!  No more bees!  Not a single one!  None!  Not a trace!!!

Hallelujah!  I was just about jumping for joy in my seat!

Of course we thanked our Father in Heaven that night, for our safety in this situation and that we didn't have to spend anymore money and that the whole thing just resolved itself, and without any incident (that we know of).  I know it's kind of a small thing, but we really were blessed.  Maybe it's a little silly, but it's just another thing that adds to my testimony that God lives and He knows me and my family and loves us and helps us through this journey of our life on Earth.  This circumstance may have been insignificant compared to a lot of other things, but it mattered to us, and so it mattered to Him.  And that's the best part.  I know I matter to Him.  And that makes me love Him even more!  It's like any relationship, when you show someone that they matter to you, it makes them appreciate you and then they return the favor and from there it's just an upward spiral and a positive chain of actions.

We matter.  Our prayers are heard.  Our prayers are answered, not always in the way or time that we want or expect, but they are answered.  We are loved, beyond any measure we can imagine!

"My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember—you matter to Him! ... 

"Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love. 

"God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him."

- Dieter F Uchtdorf

I Am Happy Where I Am

The first couple weeks of Eli's life were difficult for me.  All I wanted was to hold him, to keep him to myself, and I wanted him to stay exactly how he was, to never get bigger or grow up.  It would make me want to cry when people told me that he was getting big -- He was my little baby and so special to me and I wanted it to stay that way forever!

Thankfully I emerged from those baby blues.  Because Eli has been growing, getting bigger, and he's just as cute!  I don't want to crawl into a hole with him every time someone says he's "getting so big" anymore.  I still don't want him to grow up, not too fast anyway, but I have to say that as each new stage has come for us, I love it even more than the last!  He is sooo cute and so fun!  Right now he is playing with everything, rolling everywhere, smiling and laughing a TON, and his personality is really starting to show!

I hope it will continue to be this way.  I know one day down the road (probably more than once) I'll look back and think about my little baby, and miss him like this.  But right now I'm trying to find the joy in each day as it is, and enjoy every moment with him in each stage of his life, as he learns new things and will no doubt begin to teach us.  And I'm loving every minute!

We are so blessed to have Eli in our lives, in our family!  We love him to the moon and back.  :)

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

Psalm 27:1

Local News Article on Eli's Condition

A friend just told me about this article this morning.  It aired on the local news earlier this month.  These are the awesome doctors who did Eli's surgery!  And I guess Eli's surgery must have been one of the first these doctors did together.  Now that I think about it I think someone said something about that in the hospital.  So grateful for the vast medical knowledge today!!!  Eli is doing so well. We are truly blessed!

View the video.

NEWS ARTICLES 

Posted 1:13 PM 8/9/2013 : TMC surgical team now treating lopsided heads on babies 

TUCSON- It happens more frequently than you might think. One in 2,000 babies are born with lopsided heads. It's a condition that requires corrective surgery and now a couple doctors at Tucson Medical Center are taking on the challenge. 

The condition is called craniosynostosis. For just the third time at TMC a baby has had part of their skull taken out, reshaped and put back in place, allowing the brain to grow normally. 

Alvaro and Maria Rossette knew something wasn't right as soon as their baby girl, Anazia was born. They learned the front of her skull had fused too early and she would need surgery. 

"Very nervous, stressed. Who wants a child to be in surgery for six hours? Especially head surgery," said, Alvaro. 

Dr. Sanan, the neurosurgeon who performed the surgery explains that the skull is made up of multiple bones and as a baby is growing, all of these separate bones have to grow in order for it to maintain its normal shape. Craniosynostosis fuses those bones too soon. 

"The face get's misshapen, the eyes get misshapen, and the end result is a child that doesn't look right and a brain that's sort of developed in the wrong areas," said, Sanan. 

Anazia's skull had already fused near the forehead. But, the eight month old was in good hands. Dr. Sanan, and Dr. Ley Tai, a craniofacial surgeon, work together to perform the surgery. 

"One of the major parts that I perform is to reshape the bones with various tools and very specific cuts on the bone to make them more of a normal shape," said, Ley Tai. 

So, after six hours of having part of her skull literally cut off, reshaped, and screwed in place, little Anazia woke up and her dad says she recovered quickly. 

"We're really excited knowing that it's going to help her in her learning development, it's not going to affect her cause if we wouldn't have done the surgery it would have probably affected her in the long run." 

Before Dr. Sanan and Dr. Ley Tai performed this procedure in Tucson patients were being sent up to Phoenix. So, this surgery is providing a great resource for families facing the issue and clearly they are in capable hands.

Update on Eli: 2 Months Post-Op

Well, now it's been 2 months since the surgery.  And Eli is doing awesome!

His hair is growing and starting to cover the scar, which healed really well.  His left eye is evening out nicely, and so is the shape of his head overall, which took a little time but he's still growing all around so we expected that.  I was a little nervous before the surgery about how different he would look after, but he's still our little Eli and he looks great!  And his sweet scar is healing really well.

Taken just a few days shy of 1 month since the surgery.

His development was on pause for a couple weeks, but he's gotten right back into the swing of things. I wasn't sure what to expect with his development but it's like he didn't even have a major surgery done! He's rolling over both ways and both from back to tummy and tummy to back, eating solids like a champ, gaining lots of weight, playing with anything he can get his hands on, and smiling and giggling and talking away!  He's having a blast in life and doing very well in health and wellness.

He's been to see the neurosurgeon once and the plastic surgeon twice since being discharged from the hospital.  We won't see the neurosurgeon again unless we need to, and we have our next appointment with the plastic surgeon next month. We'll be seeing him regularly, but not as much as I thought we would need to, which is nice. We'll probably see him a few more times before the year mark from the surgery, and then once a year after that until Eli stops growing when he's in his teens.  We also have an appointment with the opthamalogist in a couple weeks just to make sure everything is still good and normal with his eyes.

About a week after we came home from the hospital Eli got sick with a stomach bug and spent the Sunday puking and the rest of the week diarrhea-ing.  It was a messy week.  But he's been fine other than that.  Everything is looking good and normal with the pediatrician; his 6 month checkup and shots were fine.  The biggest thing is that he was having trouble sleeping through the night.  He was sleeping through the night before the surgery so it was tough having to deal with him waking up again.  I'm sure he was used to being woken up in the hospital and eating around the clock again, but after about a month or so of being home, after trying to sooth him without picking him up or feeding him, we let him cry himself back to sleep during the night.  It took a couple days for him to adjust but he's back to sleeping all the way through, with the occasional 10 or 11pm 1 or 2 minute whimper wakeup (and then right back to sleep). 

All in all, this has been a very positive experience.  Everything has turned out better than we anticipated.  The surgery itself was longer than we thought, but his stay in the hospital, his bandaging, his recovery at home, his development, his personality coming back, his head shape and look, and more were and are much better than we expected.  He is doing great, and we love him!  We can't believe the support we've had from so many people.  We are so blessed and so grateful!

This was a difficult thing to go through, and I'm glad it's behind us.  But I'm grateful for this experience because we are better people and a stronger family because of it.  Our outlook of hope is solid because of our solid hope of and faith in Jesus Christ.  He atoned for all our afflictions and pains and succors us in times of need.  In His holy house, in the sacred temple, we have made covenants with God which has enabled us to be sealed together as a family for eternity.  So long as we stay clean and worthy of the blessings, nothing in this life on Earth can break that family relationship.  Eli will always be ours.  We thank our Father in heaven every day for the tremendous blessing and joy he is in our lives.  :)

Celebrating 3 Years

I'm playing a little catch up...  (Aren't we all??)  At the beginning of June, Adam and I celebrated 3 years of marriage.  I can't believe it's been 3 years, and I also can't believe it's only been 3 years!  It's been a fun and awesome journey and adventure so far.  Some things that have happened in the last year include:

- Adam completed his 3rd year at the School of Architecture at the UofA
- We bought a house
- We had our first child (son)
- I started dancing again (ballet) 
- My grandfather passed away, and I got to sing with my cousin at his memorial service
- My brother got married
- We learned our son would need major surgery (Craniosynostosis)
- My other brother got married
- Eli started swim lessons
- Eli went to his first D-Backs game

And lots of other good and fun things!  We celebrated with a nice dinner at home after Eli went to bed.  I love my husband, and I love my family.  I'm so happy we were able to be married not only for time but also sealed for eternity in the temple.  What a wonderful place the temple is, and what great blessings it brings to our home and to our family.  Jesus Christ is the foundation of our love, our happiness, our joy and hope and everything!

"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Update on Eli: It's Almost Time

Well, the waiting is just about over.  Eli goes in for his surgery Monday morning.  All this time we've just been putting it off in our minds, feeling like June 10 was always so far away.  But now it's right around the corner.  We're still trying not to think about it, but it's becoming even more inevitable.  The nerves are starting to sink in.  And if I'm being honest, it makes me sad and want to cry.  His cute little perfect peach-fuzz head won't ever be the same.  Or at least not for a little while.  He'll have a nice long scar from ear to ear, and probably a shaved head.  He's worked so hard at growing the little hair he has now!  We're still not exactly sure what recovery and care will be like after we come home after our hospital stay.  I just know we're going to have to be extra careful with our cuddles and probably cut back on them for a while.

Our situation really isn't bad.  Eli's condition isn't life-threatening, and neither is the surgery.  It's just reconstructive, really.  And the plastic surgeon and neurosurgeon are highly trained and skilled.  I'm definitely grateful for that.  I know everything will be "OK."  You just never want to see your child go through any kind of surgery.  Especially not your baby, your infant.

Thank you to those who have given us your love and support, through words and thoughts and prayers.

I'm grateful to know that our bodies will be perfected after this life when we're resurrected, made possible by Jesus Christ, because He broke the bands of death and rose again.  I'm also grateful to know that because He conquered death, we will too, and in addition to that, the laws and ordinances in His gospel allow our family relationships to extend beyond the grave.

Eli will always be ours.

I love this little guy to pieces!

Book of Mormon 6-Month Reading Challenge (and Chart)

We had stake conference this last weekend (for church) and our stake president challenged us to read the entire Book of Mormon before the next stake conference, in 6 months.  Adam and I decided to act on this challenge and made it our personal goals to read it again in this time-frame.  Adam chose to read by verses, so he's reading 36 verses a day.  I don't like being left hanging in the middle of a chapter so I decided to do my study by chapter, which is about 1.5 chapters a day.  But like I said I don't want to be reading half chapters, and I know there are some REALLY short chapters and a couple REALLY long chapters... and I wanted to track my progress to help keep me on track, so I made a reading chart.  I spent a couple hours on it total.  I go kinda crazy planning things sometimes.  But I'm pretty happy with the result (so far...)!  It's only been 3 days.  Hopefully this will help me stay on track and keep up with it!  I also wanted to know how many verses were in each chapter, and I couldn't find anything online, so I did it by going through every chapter...  So there's that.  But then I was able to break up the reading schedule better.  Man, I'm crazy sometimes!

I'm grateful for this challenge to read the Book of Mormon within the next 6 months.  This true book strengthens my relationship with God and helps me feel the Spirit more throughout my day and grows my spiritual knowledge and helps me be more in line with the Savior's teachings, so I can be a better person and strengthen my family.  And I'm finding already that this challenge is helping me be a better study-er.  I've been struggling with being consistent with my scripture study.  I know I need to be better, and I want to be better, but the implementation is always the hard part for some reason.  I know my spirituality can be better improved if I took the time to study more often, and I really need it (don't we all?).  I know this challenge and goal is going to help me develop better and more consistent habits when it comes to scripture study.  I can feel it already!  The Book of Mormon really is true, compliments the Bible, and was written way back then for us, now.  How awesome is that?  Why wouldn't we want to read and study it??  I know I do!

Want to join me?  Only 3 days to catch up on.  That's not too bad!

Download Reading Chart

Update on Eli: CT Scan - It's Confirmed

The plastic surgeon called last week to tell us that the CT scan results confirmed what he had thought -- that that part of Eli's skull has prematurely fused (read the details here).  Which means he's really having surgery this summer.  A part of me hoped and thought maybe he just wouldn't end up needing it after-all...  But he does.

We could opt to not have the surgery.  But that would be silly.  The benefits outweigh the negatives.  If he didn't get the surgery then he may face a number of things throughout his lifetime, including deformities in his head that could severely effect his appearance, his brain, and even his jaw.  These doctors are highly skilled and highly trained to be so.  I trust my son in their hands.  And I trust my son and the doctors in the hands of the Savior.

The next steps are for us to meet the [very busy] neurosurgeon and see an opthamologist (to make sure there isn't any abnormal pressure on Eli's eyes).  We'll be meeting with the plastic surgeon again about a month prior to the surgery, which is when we will work out a time to schedule that.  I'm thinking middle to end of June ish.

Is this hard to deal with?  Sure it is.  Can we handle it?  Yes.  How?  Because there is hope in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  This life on Earth is not the end of our lives; We've been sealed together as a family by God's power on earth, which means we will still be a family in heaven; Christ broke the bands of death and was resurrected so we could live again as resurrected immortal beings in eternal happiness and peace, with our family!  How can I be sad about that??

Our lives here are short, but we of course don't wish for them or those of those we love to be any shorter.  So I take it one day at a time and enjoy every second I have with each person I dearly love.  And Eli is definitely at the top of that list!

Eli is 3 and 1/2 months old!  Time flies soo fast.  I love him so much!

Update on Eli: Dr Visit - Plastic Surgeon

Eli is almost 3 months old!  He is healthy and growing and just as cute as can be!  We love every second with him.  I know I have lots to update about him in his almost 3 months of life, but I wanted to share the most recent news.

Our pediatric doctor referred us to a pediatric plastic surgeon in town to get Eli's head evaluated -- it has been a little misshaped since birth.  We thought nothing of it, maybe he would need a helmet, that would be fine.  But it turns out he has something called Unicoronal Craniosynostosis, which can only be fixed by surgery.

The doctor believes one of the sutures, the top right one, in Eli's skull has prematurely fused together, resulting in the misshape of his head and brow.  Untreated it could cause major deformities in his head over time, including all the way down to the jaw.  This condition cannot be fixed with a helmet.  Surgery is the only option.  Thankfully the doctor said the condition and surgery are not life-threatening.

First things first, Eli will be getting a CT scan in the coming weeks to confirm the fusion.  Next he'll see an opthamologist by recommendation from the plastic surgeon to make sure there is no abnormal pressure on his brain and eyes.  Then we'll meet the neurosurgeon at the hospital who will be assisting the plastic surgeon (craniofacial surgeon).  Then bloodwork and cranial surgery this summer, when Eli is 5 or 6 months old.  The surgery itself will last about 3-4 hours and Eli will stay in the hospital for recovery for 5 days.  He will be monitored by the doctor until his teenage years, but the surgery should take care of the condition without need for further correction.

The condition is not super common, but not super rare either.  Apparently it is something he just has.  We didn't do anything to cause it.

Eli is doing well and does not seem to be in any pain.  Except for the shape of his head and brow he seems to be completely normal.  Counting my blessings!

Adam and I are doing fine after the initial shock of hearing the news.  Of course we are worried and nervous partly because any outcome has some uncertainty, but we are also at peace because we know our Father in Heaven loves us and Eli and will take care of him, and that he will be in the hands of very capable doctors.  How grateful I am for modern medicine and medical knowledge and the doctors who train to serve in our communities!  My faith in Jesus Christ is strengthened through this, shall we call it, trial. He makes it easier for us to witness our son go through this.

Everything should turn out fine.  This just isn't something you want to watch your child go through.  We're holding him extra close today!

We love Eli so much!  I'm glad we don't have to go through this alone.  Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and support.

Losing Someone (Come unto Him)

There’s lots of room for regret in life, isn’t there. It seems that no matter what we do it will never be enough. And the truth is that it isn’t. But that is why the Atonement of Jesus Christ is so beautiful. But I feel guilty that I need it. I feel like I should be better. I know I can be better, there are plenty of things I can improve -- but I know although I may be my best self I will still fall short. And that is when Christ buoys us up, if we let Him.

It’s important to realize the important things in life, the way to spend our time -- with people and not with things. It wouldn’t be possible to spend all our time visiting the people we love, although we would jump at the opportunity to do so. But we have other responsibilities in life too. We can spend as many short amounts of time with the people we love and we will still look back and wish we could have done more. And still we look back and think, “Was it enough? Could I have done more? Should I have done more? Did they wish I would have done more?” We learn our lessons the hard way in life, and it’s tough, some times are tougher than others. But even though this is the case, I find there is a ray of sunshine through all the gloom. We cannot forget Christ, even in our darkest moments. It is because of Him that we truly can and will live again, and will be able to live with those we love forever. This life is only a test, a time for us to learn lessons the hard way, the way we wanted and needed it to be, so we could truly learn so we could become like God and receive everything He has. I guess part of this lesson learning is learning about hope, which comes because of Christ, that we can prevail through anything together with Him, and also learning that we really need Him. We can’t progress without Him, in this life or the next. His Atonement allows us to repent, to break the chains of sin and guilt and any affliction, and also the chains and sting of death. Because death does sting, it hurts when someone you love passes away from this life, but because of Christ’s Atonement, which includes His death and Resurrection, this life that we know on earth is not the end. It is a beautiful thing to think about the next life. We don’t know much about it, but we do know some things -- especially we know that it exists, that we will continue to exist, but in a different way. And eventually we will all be resurrected and we will live in the way we were meant to live. On Earth, our mortal bodies, our earthly homes for our spirits, become frail. But our spirits remain active and alive, wishing to do all that we want to do, but can’t because our mortal bodies limit us. Death seems to be a free-ing of self -- no more restrictions, no more pain, no more sorrow. It is a good thing, it is a happy thing. Yet we mourn because we are stuck in this life, on earth, without those we love who have passed on. But I believe they don’t mourn, but are awaiting us to join them once again.

How do you deal with death? I think that’s a question everyone asks themselves. I’m sure everyone has their own way. I guess this is part of mine.

How do I let the Atonement work in my life in dealing with this regret and guilt? I don’t know how it works, but I do know that it does work. The trick I guess is figuring out how to use it, how to give it all to Him. Christ has suffered all things for us already, so we won’t be tied down in all our pain and suffering and shortcomings, but that we can be free. Not so everything negative is taken away from us, but so we can know that everything will be okay, that this isn’t the end and we should and can keep trying to do better. Christ’s Atonement allows us to move forward, even though things in life sometimes get us down, and sometimes hold us back. It doesn’t take all the pain away, and it doesn’t remove our memories, but it is the door we can pass through to the next chapter or phase in our lives -- We can look back and remember and learn from our past without having to be held captive by it, and also we are able to look forward with a ‘brightness of hope.’ It is because of this we are able to feel real joy in our lives. I think this is at least part of the reason why people often comment about how people who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or the nickname for our religion - Mormons) are “always happy,” or something to that effect. It’s because of the knowledge of the Atonement. Anyone can have the same hope and joy. It’s in one’s belief and use of Christ’s Atonement that it is made possible.

It's OK to cry. It's OK to feel sad. We just shouldn't let it hold us back.

The Atonement of Christ and faith in Christ are directly and inseparably related. When we have faith in Him, we are having faith and believing in everything He did for us -- in His Atonement. Let Christ work in your life. Let Him in. He stands at the door and knocks, His arms are stretched out, He is waiting for you. Come unto Him.

2012 Family Recap & Christmas Card

This is a little late (we may have been a little busy... Baby post to come, I promise) but Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from us to you!

2012 Ferguson Family Recap

Hello friends and family!

We’ve had an exciting year!

We were blessed to be able to visit lots of family throughout the year in Alabama, Idaho, and Utah.

In May we found out we were expecting a new addition to our little family.  In August we found out it was a boy, and he will be arriving this month of December!  We are very excited!

We bought a small, brand new house in a nice, growing neighborhood just outside of Tucson which closed in September, and we are loving it!  Part of our celebration included hosting Thanksgiving dinner with both sides of our family who live in town.  It was a success!

Our new church ward is a little small in number but large in heart.  We’ve met lots of really nice people so far and we look forward to getting to know the rest of our new ward family.  Adam was called to be the Assistant Elders Quorum Secretary, and Kami was called to be the Relief Society Chorister.  Additionally, we were both called to teach Sunday School together for the 14-15 year old class.

We both welcomed our younger brothers home from their respective missions this year – Kami’s brother in March from the Philippines, and Adam’s brother in July from Oregon.  We are proud of them for their service to the Lord, and we’re glad to have them home!

Kami had fun this spring dancing her second semester of ballet at a local dance studio where she danced en pointe in the ballet recital, Sleeping Beauty.  She also got some friends together to sing the National Anthem as an octet at a Diamondbacks baseball game in July.  You can find a recording of it on YouTube.  Kami is still working for her mom in the mortgage business and has been able to work from home most days since moving to our new house, which will be nice when the baby comes!

Adam completed his 2^nd year of Architecture school at the University of Arizona in May, and is now halfway through his 3^rd year.  He will only have 2 more to go after this next spring semester!  He is working hard and learning a lot and really enjoying it.

We love you all and hope you and your families are doing well!

Adam & Kami (& baby) Ferguson

Brothers & Missionaries

So I realized I never said anything about our brothers coming home from their missions this year.  Whoops!

Both my and Adam's younger brothers came home from their respective missions this year!  It's been a fun year!

My brother came home in March from the Philippines.

Family together again. "Mabuhay" means "Welcome" in Tagalog.
I totally PhotoShopped a guy (partly) out of the picture. Just don't look too closely.

Any excuse to have cookie cake from Mrs. Fields!!!!!!!!
He hadn't had it for 2 years so it was a pretty good excuse.
I love cookie cake (from Mrs. Fields).

Adam's brother came home in July from the Oregon Portland mission.

Together again!

Man, the lighting in the airport is awful!!

But anyway...

We're super proud of both of them for their dedication and service to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the two years they spent every day helping others come closer to Him by serving them and sharing His Gospel with them.  Love them both!!!

Welcome to the 3rd Trimester!

What?!

That's right.  29 weeks.  Almost a whole 7 months.  3rd trimester.

bump at 28 weeks

Pregnancy goes by so fast.  I expected it to, but at the same time 9 months sounds like a really long time!

I've hit the milestone point of now having doctor appointments every 2 weeks instead of 4...  That makes it seem even more crazy and real!

At our appointment last week we had another ultrasound because the doctor didn't get good enough pictures of everything she needed to see last time.  We invited our immediate family to come to this one.  Both of our parents and Adam's brother came.  It was really cool that they got to be there for that.  At one point during the ultrasound our baby kicked and not only did I feel it but we saw his leg extend and contract on the big screen!  It was so awesome!  That was my favorite part by far.  :)

He was more wiggly this ultrasound so the footage didn't turn out as good as last time.  Plus the doctor said there is more fluid now which makes it harder to take 3D pictures.  But I included a couple still for your viewing pleasure.  :)

My belly continues to bounce around.  It's so weird but really cool to see it moving "on its own."  There is a little living thing inside of me!  So crazy.  So awesome.  The miracle of life is sooooo witnessing of the existence of God, it's not even funny.  We as humans can't create ANYTHING that was never there before (we can manipulate, but not create), except a new person.  Creation is a divine gift, one that only God could have given us.  And it is one that should be taken very seriously.  There is way too much carelessness in the world...  I could go on about that, but I won't right now.

The nursery looks like...  Well I don't know what it looks like, but it doesn't look like a nursery!  A storage room I guess, but full of empty boxes.  And we realize that I could be having a baby in 2 months... TWO MONTHS...  So we really need to get cracking on getting things ready.  !

Our little munchkin at 28 weeks:

Do I Really Have to Pee Again?!

I find myself thinking this quite often lately.  I don't drink as much fluids as I should, but it seems like I still have to go to the bathroom every hour.  This could also mean that time is just flying by -- which it does!

Oh the joys of pregnancy!

Our baby boy is doing well!  This week I am 25 weeks.  We still haven't decided on a name, but we have a couple possibles.  I wonder if I'll be able to settle on one until I see him and hold him.  I can't believe I'm going to be a MOM -- what the heck!  But wow, we are excited.

I had some fun morning sickness throughout the second half of the first trimester, which really was mostly only in the mornings (thank goodness).  For the most part I would just feel sick and queezy -- only a handful of times did I actually throw up.  Actually probably two handfuls (of times, not barf).  Luckily I always made it to the toilet, trash can, throw-up bowl, or side of the road (yes, it happened once).

As for this second trimester, I've been feeling great!  I think I've been more tired than usual, but not by much.   Actually what I think has been happening is that my body is FINALLY teaching itself to work on an inner clock.  I get tired around 9pm or so (and get to bed around 10 or so, hopefully), and don't have as hard of a time getting out of bed at 7 or 8am to help Adam get ready for school (packing his lunch).  And the REAL miracle is that I can actually stay awake after he leaves instead of crawling back into bed!  I feel like this has been a huge accomplishment.  Now my next task is to start getting ready and get out of the house before 9 (eek!) or 10 (doable).

Our little baby Ferg is moving around a lot now (since a couple weeks ago).  Adam has even been able to feel him!  He gets really excited when he feels him move.  He's going to be an awesome dad, I can already tell!!!  I actually forget a lot that I'm pregnant, sometimes it just doesn't seem real, but it's when I feel him moving that I remember -- Oh yeah, I'm pregnant!  And I'm finally starting to look like it!  However, I'm still in that awkward phase where if you don't know I'm pregnant you probably assume that I'm fat in the belly.  But if you DO know that I'm pregnant, you can totally tell!  Even if I wear a t-shirt.  It's almost time I start investing in more loose/maternity shirts.  I've hardly gained any weight throughout this whole pregnancy so far.  I've been teetering around 115 pounds -- which is small for me!  I lost weight during the past year from dancing ballet. So basically all my pants still fit!  Actually a lot of them are still too big.  Kind of annoying, but it's nice that I don't have to buy new clothes yet.

Here are some pictures:

"We're expecting!" (May)

"This is CRAZY and EXCITING!" (May)

The bump! 22.5 weeks (September)

13 weeks

20 weeks

It's a BOY!

20 weeks

:)

God is the Same - We Can Still Know

We are all trying to do the best we can in this life.  We are ever trying to understand God and how we can best follow Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world whom He has sent.

With so many opinions out there, it can be difficult to figure out what we should believe.  Some believe the notion that we as mere humans can't and won't ever know in this life exactly how God wants us to follow Him.

I believe with all my heart, might, mind, and strength that God DOES speak to His children on the earth (all of us) and that we CAN know what He wants us to do.

The Holy Ghost, or Spirit, is how we can know.  He is the third member of the Godhead.  It is His role to be a witness of truth.

"And we are his witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him." - Acts 5:32 

"Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth" - John 16:13 

"But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God." - 1 Corinthians 2:10-12 

"...the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls." - Jacob 4:13

An ancient prophet named Moroni in approx. A.D. 421 declared that if we pray to God to know of truth, He will reveal that it is true by the power of the Holy Ghost:

"And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. 

"And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. 

"And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is.

"And ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost" 

(Book of Mormon, Moroni 10:4-7)

Another ancient prophet, Nephi, around 600 B.C. also testified of this:

"For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost, as well in these times as in times of old, and as well in times of old as in times to come; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round." 

(Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 10:19)

"For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do." 

(Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 32:5)

Interesting that he says that this principle, which was true in ancient times, will continue to apply and be true in times to come.  Today is included in that "times to come."  How fortunate are we that God is unchanging and continues to reveal truth to us, through His prophets and through the Holy Ghost, so we don't have to wander this life in confusion!

In a revelation given through a modern day prophet, Joseph Smith, in 1831 the Lord also affirmed:

"And again, verily I say unto you, O inhabitants of the earth: I the Lord am willing to make these things known unto all flesh... 

"...For behold, and lo, the Lord is God, and the Spirit beareth record, and the record is true, and the truth abideth forever and ever." 

(Doctrine & Covenants 1:34, 39)

I also believe that God is the same today, yesterday, and forever, which is to say that He does not change.

• "But thou art the same, and thy years shall have no end." - Psalms 102:27
  
• "For I am the Lord, I change not" - Malachi 3:6
  
• "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever." - Hebrews 13:8
  
• "For he is the same yesterday, today, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him." - 1 Nephi 10:18
  
• "For do we not read that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing?" - Mormon 9:9
  
• "...for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever." - Moroni 10:7
  
• "And I would exhort you, my beloved brethren, that ye remember that he is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and that all these gifts of which I have spoken, which are spiritual, never will be done away, even as long as the world shall stand, only according to the unbelief of the children of men." - Moroni 10:19
  
• "Proving to the world that the holy scriptures are true, and that God does inspire men and call them to his holy work in this age and generation, as well as in generations of old;
  "Thereby showing that he is the same God yesterday, today, and forever." - Doctrine & Covenants 20:11-12
  
• "Listen to the voice of the Lord your God, even Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, whose course is one eternal round, the same today as yesterday, and forever." - Doctrine & Covenants 35:1
  
• "From eternity to eternity he is the same, and his years never fail." - Doctrine & Covenants 76:4
  
• "And God spake unto Moses, saying: Behold, I am the Lord God Almighty, and Endless is my name; for I am without beginning of days or end of years; and is not this endless?
  "And, behold, thou art my son; wherefore look, and I will show thee the workmanship of mine hands, but not all, for my works are without end, and also my words, for they never cease." - Moses 1:3-4

In a world where everything seems to be constantly changing, I am grateful that God has a hold on things.  I know that He will guide us to truth and will reveal His way to us through the Spirit if we truly want to know, will act on the answer He gives, and ask Him.  I'm grateful to know that He will always give us guidance if we seek it, be solid and stable and unchanging, and can provide safety and security and stability in our lives if we put our trust in Him.

It's a Baby!

Well, it's official.  We are expecting a little family addition in January!  I am 9 weeks and due January 6, 2013.  We are super excited!  Enjoying pregnancy.  It's crazy!  :)