I love rain and lightning and thunder!

A perfect day for a pensive post.

I've been having a hard time some days lately feeling a purpose.  I know I'm preparing to eventually become a mother one day and I try to keep up with the little things to be doing that.  But what else in the mean time?  We are NO WAY ready to have kids yet, although I feel like when we do start having kids I will feel more like I have real meaning in my life, like I'm actually doing something worthwhile.  But then that makes me worried that when they eventually grow up I'm going to be left again without anything to do!  I'm sure that's not true though.  I'll probably have developed good hobbies and strings by then.  But still.

But I just don't know what to do with myself.  It seems as if my days pretty much consist of going to work and cleaning up the apartment.  I have books that I've been wanting to read so I'm trying to read more, and that helps me keep my sanity.  Reading helps me appreciate thinking outside myself and have meaningful thoughts.

I guess I don't have much to look forward to...  I've completed some of the "big milestones" of life: graduate from college, GET MARRIED...  After planning extensively for a wedding I guess my life seems pretty dull!  Maybe it's just the sudden contrast.  Maybe I'm having planning withdrawls!  It wouldn't surprise me; I like to plan.  I was one of the Activities Committee co-chairs in the singles ward before I got married.  My calling is in the Primary now where I get hardly any adult interaction and I don't have a clue what's going on in Relief Society and it doesn't seem like my ward does anything anyway.

I'm not complaining...  I have a good life and things are going well for me and for us.  Adam started yesterday at the UofA and he's working toward an Architecture degree.  He is going to do so well!  I'm just getting bored with my own track I suppose.  I don't know what to do with myself!

I'm trying to do new things and keep up on little things I should be doing, and trying to be cheerful and willing in everything that I need to do.  Let's face it, we need to ENJOY our lives!  I'm trying to do just that.

I'm going to go read a book.  :)

 "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.-

UPDATE NOTE (10:02 PM):

I feel good about life!  I love listening to the words of the prophets.  I need not worry, I just need to do.  I finally contacted my ward mission leader to go out with the sister missionaries in my ward.  I'm nervous!  I've wanted to go out with them for a while now, and there must be good reason, so I need to, and so I am.  I'm excited.  :)  Our purpose in life is to make it back to our Heavenly Father, who loves us so.  Our second purpose is to help those around us to make it back too.  We can't do it all, but we need to do what we can.  Meet a need one at a time, as Elder Christofferson taught us on Sunday.  Jesus Christ lives!  And we CAN be happy NOW.  :)

"I pray, I get an answer, and I do it."

-Stephanie Nielson-