Making a list of the qualities you want to have as a parent is kind of like making a list of qualities you want in your eternal companion. Similarly, this is a list of qualities I want to strive to develop in myself.
In no order of importance (because they all are):
- patient
- treat each child equally (of course they also have to be treated appropriate to age)
- treat children as people, with respect
- loving (even in discipline)
- kind
- discipline with an increase of love after
- implement consequences for actions - good and bad
- teach the Gospel at all times in every circumstance, formal and informal
- take time for the small and simple things, the small and simple joys of life
- tell children I love them every day (multiple times I'm sure!)
- fun! and active with them
- reliable
- consistent
- have routines, but also be willing to break them when appropriate
- spontaneous
- high but realistic expectations
- allow children to make choices, of course discipline as necessary
- read and study the scriptures as a family every day
- pray as a family every day
- not too lenient, not too strict
- optimistic and happy (of course there will be times, but I want to be able to take a deep breath and not take things out on my children, or husband for that matter)
- have a united front with husband
- be interested in and supportive of children's interests
- help them discover and cultivate their talents
- someone children can trust and want to ask questions to and talk about things in their lives
- if I'm wrong, own up to it, and don't let children suffer for it
- don't yell at or talk rudely/angrily to children
- be there for them
- spend quality time with them
This list will continue to grow, and I'm sure there are things I forgot to put down. But it's a good starting point I think. :)
I love your list :) I made a list like that before I was even married, and now I am a mother of two small children and I find myself working on all those things daily. I wish I was better at a lot of them. Parenting is hard work. You're wise to prepare now :)
ReplyDeleteI wrote a letter recently from my kids' point of view, the things I want them to say about me when they are grown. I figure if I can think about what I want their perspective of me to be when they are grown it will help me understand how the things I am doing now affect their perspective of me. If that makes sense. Ha ha, it's probably too late for me to be coherently commenting on blog posts about motherhood... anyway, I liked this list. That is all. :)
Becca - Thank you for your comment! I love what you said about learning how you can be better for your kids by thinking from their point of view. I'll have to try that one too! Just curious, how did you come across my blog? Thanks for stopping by!
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